LetterstoLaila

  Monday   February 2024 Monday will always be the day I gave birth to you. It will be the day we met you. But we didn’t take you home with us and we never saw your smile.    You were brought to us, in a little basket, wrapped beautifully in two blankets: the one I finished early for you and one donated to the hospita l for babies like you. Giving birth to you was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Giving birth to your sister wasn’t easy, but giving birth to you hurt me so much more. You arrived at 3:30 in the morning. I was holding your daddy’s hand and being looked after by a lovely woman called Alison. She told me I was brave. Your daddy told me he was proud of me. It was so hard for me, knowing that I had to stop growing you. I didn’t feel brave or strong. I wish I could have kept you growing in me.    When we met you later that day, I’d had some sleep and a shower. I put on your daddy’s favourite dress. I wanted to look nice to meet ...

   Dear Laila,  A year ago today, I gave birth to you. So today is your birth day. A year ago today, we met you for the first time. But, it's not a day to celebrate because you came into this world with no signs of life. Our hearts were broken enough by then and knowing you arrived peacefully brought us some relief.   I have written you these letters; from Wednesday, the day of our first scan, and for the ten days that followed. They were the hardest ten days of our lives. I hope is that somehow, in some way, whereever you are, these letters will reach you. You'll know how very loved you were and how very sad we always will be to not have you here 💔